Tuesday, January 19, 2010

But...Do You Trust Me??

Wow...quite a bit has happened since my last post almost three weeks ago when I started praying the "Disturb me, O God" prayer!  You won't be surprised to know I have indeed been disturbed! :)  For the past three weeks (interesting timing) my business has been completely jeopardized by something that's totally out of my hands.  I have had to face the fact that I may be unemployed very soon.  There is literally nothing I can do to save it - my business is at the mercy of an outside entity.  So, the rubber has met the road and God has brought me face to face with the question "Do you trust Me"?  I seem to be really good at talking about trust, but let me tell you the past three weeks have been an exercise in walking that trust out.  God and I have had quite a bit of face time lately and I've come to realize something: when I lay my everything down at His feet and recognize that it was never mine to begin with there is a peace that covers me.  The more I have been enabled to "let go" of my business and the financial security it brings and surrender it to Him, the more I have been able to praise Him in the midst of the storm.  His plans are good - perfect, actually. 

There has been something strangely freeing about truly facing the future (which seems rather bleak!) and saying, "Ok, God - bring it!".  Whatever "it" is.  Bring it.  Unemployment?? Bring it. Watching you outstretch your arm and save my business?? Bring it.  WHATEVER YOU WANT, GOD.  What I have discovered over the past three weeks is that there is no other place I want to be than where God wants me.  To be able to honestly say that and mean it regardless of the implications is where it's at!  This past year I've been scratching the surface of saying that and meaning it, but God has taken me deeper these past weeks.  He's taken me further into the knowledge that HE IS GOOD and my security lies in Him only.  And so I can smile at the future in all its uncertainty.  I can smile at tomorrow when I'll find out if I'm unemployed or not.  One thing I know: tomorrow is a good day regardless of the outcome because God is on His throne and is at work in my life. 

I have had so many reminders of my time in Uganda the past few weeks as I've been processing through all of this.  But most frequently, I have thought about young James Ocen (you can read more here) who when asked to write anything he wanted (and most of the kids his age wrote down things they need), simply wrote:

My heart still breaks every time I read that. It breaks for James' circumstances and it breaks over the fact that this young orphan boy gets "it" so much better than I do. I'm begging the Lord for a little bit more of the kind of trust James has in His very big, very loving God.

The Message version interprets Matthew 6:34 this way: "Give your entire attention to what God is doing right now, and don't get worked up about what may or may not happen tomorrow. God will help you deal with whatever hard things come up when the time comes."

May my attention be ever turned to what God is doing RIGHT NOW - in this moment. Man, I so don't want to miss it. He has GOOD things in the middle of difficult circumstances if I will just press in further.


  1. Girl~ you are covered in prayer and in love! LOVE you and your courage in the middle of this storm.

  2. Thanks for updating for me, I mean.. YOU :)

    I posted this on my fb today for another friend- it really spoke to me.. Jesus calling!

    I am leading you along the high road, but there are descents as well as ascents. In the distance you see snow-covered peaks glistening in a brilliant sunlight. Your longing to reach those peaks is good, but you must not take shortcuts. Your assignment is to follow Me, allowing Me to direct your path. Let the heights beckon you onward, but stay close to me.

    Learn to trust Me when things go "wrong". Disruptions to your routine highlight your dependence on Me. Trusting acceptance of trials brings blessings that far outweigh them all. Walk hand and hand with Me though this day. I have lovingly planned every inch of the way. Trust does not falter when the path becomes rocky and steep. Breathe deep draughts of My Presence, and hold tightly to My hand. Together we can make it!

    ...trusting acceptance of trials brings blessings that far outweigh them all.

    Love you!

  3. Your posts always encourage me! Thank you for being you and sharing that with US!

    I have that picture of James Ocen's FAITH letter on my sliding glass door as a constant reminder to have his faith.

    Oh, that "he" could have the minor struggles that I have-- to walk out that faith in comparison--humbling, no doubt.

    Watch this: God's eye is on those who respect him, the ones who are looking for his love.

    He's ready to come to their rescue in bad times; in lean times he keeps body and soul together.

    We're depending on GOD; he's everything we need.

    What's more, our hearts brim with joy since we've taken for our own his holy name.

    Love us, GOD, with all you've got— that's what we're depending on.
    Psalm 33:18-22

  4. I love you, girls!! Thanks for the encouragement! I know that God's plans (were I to know them all) would blow my mind. I am trusting that He is directing my steps - I just want what He wants! Thanks for all your prayers - I have felt them big time! Thankful for you today!

  5. Amy!
    Love you and am praying for you. Thank you for your inspirational faith!

    You give me courage to continue to ask him to conform me and make me more like His Son. That's a tough prayer because the change that takes us from who we are (and who we're comfortable being) to being more like Christ is a HUGE one! ...it's almost like we're asking for trouble! :-) Yet the blessings hidden in that transformation are absolutely amazing. I'm walking right behind you, sister.

    You are such a blessing to me!


  6. Amy, You are in my prayers and remember my favorite saying "God Is In Control And He Is Not Nervous"

  7. Wow, Amy, I can relate on so many different levels right now...and I haven't had the courage to pray your prayer!!! When God takes something away, He always brings something even better. I have to trust that and pray that He will give you the peace as you face whatever He brings your way. You are loved and SO precious!!! - Amy

  8. love your simple words of amazing faith, "Bring it"... :)