Last night Ben asked me what he could do for me to help make my life better. It was a question just asked out of sweetness - not because I was struggling with anything. I had to think about it for a while but the first thought that came into my mind was "make it so that I don't have to work at my job anymore so that I can pursue my passion". God is revealing to me what my passion is - what He created me to be passionate about during my time on this earth. I am passionate about fulfilling the words of God when he says in James 1:27 "Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world." So for me, the struggle lies in the fact that I am working a job (which I'm very thankful for by the way) that is not fulfilling the purposes I see God calling me to. I've been mulling all this over a lot the past six months or so. I'm trying to engage in advocacy, fund raising etc. for orphans in Africa but it just seems to be something that I cram into the open spaces of my life. When I am engaged in doing that sort of thing with my time it feels right and fulfilling. But I find myself frustrated that I can't engage in doing that all the time as my job.
I was cleaning the kitchen this morning and listening to a podcast by Erwin McManus which was all about how God had created us to have dreams and those dreams are His way of leading us into our callings. He had finished talking and opened it up for questions and answers. A woman asked the following question: "Where do you draw the line between spending time on your responsibilities and spending time on the dream God has planted in you?"
He responded "If those lines of dreams and responsibilities run parallel and are not entwined you're probably living the wrong life. You've got to take responsibilities and dreams and fuse them together so your responsibility is your dream. Because you are responsible to live the life God created you to live - that's your ultimate responsibility."
Whoa! Those three little sentences are still ringing in my ears even as I type this. Earlier in his message he was saying how we associate anything sacred or Godly with seriousness and responsibility, when from the very beginning God has created us to ENJOY our lives and our relationship with Him. In Genesis 2 God takes Adam and Eve into the lush, beautiful garden He created for them and tells them "You are free to eat from any tree in the garden". There they could enjoy the presence of God, they could enjoy the food, their surroundings and each other. Just because I have a good job that pays the bills and is pleasant to go to every week doesn't mean that that's all God has for me. God has created me the way I am and has given me gifts to use for His glory. AND He wants me to get enjoyment from that. I'm realizing that I need to press in to more of what God has for me. Could be that He'll open up a door for me that will allow my dreams and responsibilities to be fused together. The thought of having my "work life" be reflective of the dreams I feel God has placed deep in heart gives me more hope and excitement than I can express.
So, how about you? What are your dreams? Are you living the life God created you to live?