"My story is important not because it is mine, God knows, but because if I tell it anything like right, the chances are you will recognize that in many ways it is also yours… it is precisely through these stories in all their particularity, as I have long believed and often said, that God makes himself known to each of us more powerfully and personally. If this is true, it means that to lose track of our stories is to be profoundly impoverished not only humanly but also spiritually." - Frederick Buechner
I read that quote by Frederick Buechner today and it made me think about my story. I don't know if any of you can relate, but I have kept "my story" just that - mine. Over time as I have found the courage to spit out the words which encompass my story I have found the ability to breathe again. How many of us hide who we have been and who we are out of fear of what others might think? I did for years. It was an ugly prison of my own making. The freedom came for me in recognizing that God was big enough for my story. He could handle it. And in the end, that's all that matters. There are people in this world who can't handle my story and that's okay because God can. I've found that as I've spoken the words I thought I would never say, that freedom has seeped in to my bones. Just like Frederick says above - I don't want to lose track of my story or the stories that my story has birthed. God shapes our stories if we let Him. And that, is a beautiful thing. So, share your story. Don't profoundly impoverish the rest of us. :)
In that spirit, here are the ABC's of who I've been, who I am and who I long to become...
Beloved. It's taken me years to figure out I am.
Compelled by the compassion of God
Desperate for love.
Entrapped by my craving for comfort
Freedom found in forgiveness of myself.
Grateful. Ridiculously so. Nothing I have do I deserve.
Hoping in what I do not see, but what I know is real.
Insufficient. That's me.
Justice...learning how to stand for it, live it, and weave it into the fabric of my being.
Known...truly known by a few
Low Self Esteem
Married to the most amazing man on the planet
Night. So many dark nights...but light has always come.
Orphans. They have changed my life.
Prayer and lots of it has carried me through
Quitting my safe life. Trying to let go of the things I hold to tightly.
Rescued from my painful choices.
Sliver of who I long to be.
Tariku. My Ethiopian son whose story has shaped the course of my life.
Vulnerability...it's a word that has changed my life. Tell your story. Someone needs to hear it.
Whole because God stooped down and poured out His grace on me.
X- rated - My heart in all it's ugliness.
Yearning to be the woman God created me to be
Zealous wanna be.