Mamba

Sometimes there are no words and I know that my feeble attempt at them right now will not do justice to a sweet, seven year old boy named Mamba who died in Swaziland yesterday.  But bear with me, because I think there is a message for us to hear in the midst of this.

If you don’t know, my husband Ben works for Children’s HopeChest, which is an incredible organization working to care for and protect vulnerable children around the world. While he works with multiple countries, his main country of focus due to HopeChest’s large presence there, is Swaziland. Swaziland is a beautiful, heartbreaking little country in the southern part of Africa. HIV/AIDS is so prevalent there that it’s estimated if something’s not done soon to curb the virus that the country itself will be extinct in a matter of decades. Can you imagine? Almost an entire generation has already been wiped out due to the virus as well as other factors.

That said...Swaziland’s terrain is stunning.

Its people are beautiful inside and out.

Hope is springing up.

But sometimes hope must be clawed at and fought for. That's what the Thulwane community in Swaziland is doing today - fighting not to lose sight of hope.  

This week a spunky little boy named Mamba died. He was a sponsored child through a HopeChest Care Point who came for meals, laughter and love. He was played with, held and adored…most recently by his sponsor who was just in Swaziland a few weeks ago visiting him and working at the Care Point.

A few days ago, his step-father was heard telling Mamba’s mother that he was going to kill her and her children. Yesterday, when Mamba was missing, Hope Chest staff searched for him.  They horrifically found him hung from a tree.  He was seven years old. 

The precious little guy you see at the top of this post was senselessly murdered.  As I was listening to Ben on the phone telling me all of this, I was undone. This act was horrific and evil at its core. He was an innocent child.

I cried for Mamba, who must have been so full of fear and confusion in his last moments of life.  But now I'm angry.  Not at God, but at the enemy who loves to keep us from remembering we are in an all out war on this earth.  It's a war between good and evil, hope and despair, justice and injustice and love and hate.  I immediately thought of 1 Peter 5:8, which says "Be self controlled and alert.  Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour."  And it's true.  Jesus said it Himself - "the thief comes to steal, kill and destroy" and he will stop at nothing to do it. He will use disease, poverty, hunger, anger, war, relational brokenness...anything he can get his ugly hands on to bring devastation.  This doesn't mean we just give up and live in fear. He doesn't get the last word. Ann Voskamp says that "the enemy is a lion on a leash", and he is. There will be a day where none of this pain and senseless violence will exist.  Until then, God has given us hearts to beat as His, feet to run into the thick of battle, arms to throw around those who suffer, and voices that shout aloud for the mighty power and justice of God to come down.

My anger over what happened to Mamba must drive me to my knees.  When things like this happen it can make all that we labor and long for feel so futile.  But I think of Jesus' words in Matthew 16:19 that say "I will give you the keys to the kingdom of heaven.  Whatever you bind on earth will be bound in heaven and whatever you loose on earth will be loosed in heaven." Our prayers matter, which is why the Bible tells us to pray without ceasing.  We have a responsibility to do battle on our knees and with our lives for these children who are so vulnerable to the enemy. When we pray, territory the enemy thinks he owns is taken back.  When we pray, Light arrives on the scene.  When we pray, God answers and things change. 

HopeChest's staff and the community of Thulwane in Swaziland need our prayers as they grieve and process this loss.  I can't imagine the trauma and despair the staff must feel at what they witnessed yesterday.  As we pray for the children who are vulnerable in this community, let's also be sure to pray for those who are working on their behalf and serving them...that they would not grow discouraged and weary of doing good. 

God, may You stir anew in the hearts of your people a desire to pray and intercede on behalf of the vulnerable and oppressed in the world.  Help us to get outside of ourselves that we might be mindful of what our brothers and sisters face and be compelled to help change things, both through prayer and through action.  Give us eyes to see and hearts that respond.  Awaken us, O God! 

Whirlwind

I love Ethiopia. More specifically, I love Korah...a leper colony full of beautiful people in horrendous situations.  It has been over a year since I've been in Ethiopia and I've been patiently and not so patiently waiting for the right time to go back.  A few months ago the time was right to set a date and so we did.  September 8-18.  It's no exaggeration to say I think about this community of people many times a day and dream about them at night.  God has carved out a deep, special place in my heart for them and I literally ache to go back!  It looks like I may be taking a friend of mine with me who is a nurse!  How awesome is that?!  These people can lose limbs or die from even a simple cut that they can't afford to treat, so the prospect of being able to take someone with some medical expertise excites me so much and will be such a blessing to the people in this community where open wounds and sickness run rampant.

And then...

I received a few thousand dollar medical bill in the mail a few weeks back and then just  yesterday a notice from the IRS saying that the refund we received from them months ago was miscalculated and now we owe them close to $3,000.  I feel like the wind has been knocked out of me.  What??? Why, God?  Really?  Why NOW??  To be honest, I've shed some tears over this today.  What are we supposed to do when our plans seem to fall to pieces?  But, I really believe that the timing is right for me to go.  I have seen God provide when things looked literally impossible.  So, I would love it if you would join me in praying for provision for this trip to Ethiopia.  I need to book my airfare in a few weeks so we'll just see what God will do.  I was reminded of Job's story today as I was starting to complain about my circumstances.  I love how God answered Job out of a whirlwind in chapter 38:

“Where were you when I laid the earth’s foundation? Tell me, if you understand. Who marked off its dimensions? Surely you know! Who stretched a measuring line across it? On what were its footings set, or who laid its cornerstone— while the morning stars sang together and all the angels shouted for joy? Who shut up the sea behind doors when it burst forth from the womb, when I made the clouds its garment and wrapped it in thick darkness, when I fixed limits for it and set its doors and bars in place, when I said, ‘This far you may come and no farther; here is where your proud waves halt'.  Have you journeyed to the springs of the sea or walked in the recesses of the deep? Have you comprehended the vast expanses of the earth? Have you entered the storehouses of the snow or seen the storehouses of the hail, which I reserve for times of trouble, for days of war and battle? What is the way to the place where the lightning is dispersed or the place where the east winds are scattered over the earth?  Who cuts a channel for the torrents of rain, and a path for the thunderstorm,  to water a land where no man lives, a desert with no one in it, to satisfy a desolate wasteland and make it sprout with grass? Does the rain have a father? Who fathers the drops of dew? From whose womb comes the ice?  Who gives birth to the frost from the heavens when the waters become hard as stone, when the surface of the deep is frozen?  Can you bring forth the constellations in their seasons or lead out the Bear with its cubs? Do you know the laws of the heavens? Can you set up God’s dominion over the earth? Can you raise your voice to the clouds and cover yourself with a flood of water?  Do you send the lightning bolts on their way? Do they report to you, ‘Here we are’? Who endowed the heart with wisdom or gave understanding to the mind? Who has the wisdom to count the clouds? Who can tip over the water jars of the heavens when the dust becomes hard and the clods of earth stick together? Do you hunt the prey for the lioness and satisfy the hunger of the lions when they crouch in their dens or lie in wait in a thicket? Who provides food for the raven when its young cry out to God and wander about for lack of food?"

Wow.  Okay, God.  I'm not going to question You in the middle of my circumstances.  I am going to rely on the One who "provides food for the raven when its young cry out".  So, I'm going to trust in the goodness and provision of the God who did all of the above and say with everything in me that He is good and will never disappoint.  My circumstances may disappoint, but not Him.  Not ever.   

I can't tell you how much I appreciate your prayers right now.  I am willing to lay down this trip if that is what I am supposed to do, because I just want to be where He wants me.  But I also can't shake the strong sense that I am to be in Ethiopia in September, so thanks for joining me in praying for some miraculous provision!!  The God who laid the earth's foundation is surely capable!  Thanks, guys!

Freedom?

I couldn't make up my mind about what to write about this July 4th weekend so I started with this...


On this Independence Day I am very mindful of the fact I walk around freely today because people have fought for the freedom I enjoy. The fact of the matter is that while America celebrates her freedom this weekend, there are an estimated 27 million people in the world who are slaves...more than any other time in history.  Did you catch that??  MORE THAN ANY OTHER TIME IN HISTORY.  In this day and age, how is that even possible??  


People throughout history have raised their voices to declare that slavery is an injustice and must be done away with.  I wonder what Wilberforce and Lincoln would think today if they knew 27 million people are enslaved.  The people who stood up for and defended the freedom I enjoy today didn't know me personally.  They didn't take a look at my life and deem me worthy of fighting for.  They intrinsically knew that human life was not property to be sold...that each person was valuable and should be given every opportunity to thrive. 


So, why is this any different for us today?  Why do we have a license to sit back and say "Oh, those poor people who are slaves. That's just horrible.  Who could do such a thing?  Well, I sure hope something changes soon...that's such a tragedy."  Do we not see that WE are the ones who must raise our voices just as the people who fought for us did many years ago? Don't we know that if we all just sit back and say "What a pity" that nothing will change?


After I wrote all that I changed my mind about what I wanted to really say. :) If you read my blog you likely are attuned to the issue of human trafficking, what causes it and what you can do to help stop it.  What you may not know (or not like to think about) is what keeps YOU behind bars so to speak. What are the things that keep you enslaved?  Are there chains in your life that only let you run so far before tripping you up and making you fall? 


Do you carry anger and bitterness around?  Maybe a poor self image that has sent you into an eating disorder. Are you ate up by worry?  Could be that you are plagued by a secret addiction of some sort.  Maybe you are locked up in your own cell because of fear and anxiety.  How about insecurity?  Or maybe good old fashioned guilt and shame?   


I think it's worth being said that there are many of us walking around enslaved by something that we were created to be set free from!  My top two beasts have been guilt and insecurity.  I struggled for years over things that had happened in my past.  I couldn't get over them and felt like I didn't really deserve to be rid of the guilt I carried.  I'll never forget what an eighty year old man named Jim Downing said one night.  He said that in ancient times as a punishment, an offender would have a dead body chained to his leg.  Wherever he would go, he would drag around the dead, stinking carcass and everyone around would flee.  Taking in the stench and the sight of a decaying body was enough to make anyone run the other direction.  Jim likened the offender to us and the dead body to our guilt and shame (insert whatever beast it is that you tend to haul around).  One big difference though...we carry the key in our pocket to unlock the chain and leave the dead body behind.  But do we???  Why do we continue to carry around things that Jesus came to set us free from?


Do we think that when we read in scripture that Jesus came to set the captives free, that that's only for the 27 million slaves in the world?  It's not just for them.  It's for us too.  Galatians 5:1 says " It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery."  In other words, Christ didn't die a gruesome death on a cross so that we could enjoy our freedom for a day and then turn around and walk right back into captivity.  That is not how we are designed.  We are created to be people who walk about in FREEDOM, unencumbered by chains.  Our chains are GONE.  They have been broken.  


One of the biggest deceits of the enemy is to keep us thinking we are still chained when we are not.  Our past and our present do not hold us captive.  The labels that have been slapped on us do not define us.  What happened to us when we were young and innocent does not make us guilty.  Our physical appearance is meaningless because God looks at our hearts.  Our fear has been driven out by perfect Love - there is no place for it any longer.  Our addictions CAN be broken.  Our insecurity is a trap straight from the pit because we are children of God, sons and daughters of the King.  If we take time to really digest this it is life changing for us.  The lies that we believe can be dismantled. 


There is no dispute that we all carry around some amount of baggage.  Some of ours is heavier than others. But have we come to believe that this baggage will never go away?  That it will always rear its ugly head? If we have believed that, as Beth Moore says "we're going to have to let truth scream louder to our souls than the lies that have infected us."

There is no time like the present to break the chains of wrong thinking and to recognize that the life God has designed for you to live is one of FREEDOM and GRACE. 


He is good and He will walk you through letting go.  Some of these things we may have carried for years and our chains have become more like comfort blankets that we don't know how to live without. Maybe there's a lot of fear involved in what life looks like if we're not always getting tripped up by our chains.  But I am confident that the One who came to set you truly free will give you whatever you need to walk right out of your chains and into the life that you are meant to live in Him. He's done it for me and I am so grateful.  I am FREE.  

Our Confidence (Sun Stand Still Part 2)

If you missed my last post, I am sharing a bit about what I'm learning from a book by Steven Furtick called "Sun Stand Still". When I think about Joshua's boldness to ask God to make the sun stand still on His people's behalf it more than challenges me.  How many times have I prayed prayers where I don't really expect God to answer?  There have been times when I've felt like praying about a certain thing was the right thing to do, but I didn't really have any confidence that God would actually do something.  Or often, I'll qualify my prayer with "If it's your will, God", when really that's a cop out. All it does is keep me from having to pray with real faith because if it's His will then I don't have to really bother believing what I'm praying for.  FAULTY LOGIC!!  Bill Johnson says "What is vital for us to learn is the role that humanity has in bringing about the activity of the sovereign God into the affairs of man."  Prayers offered in faith change things.  I feel like God is prodding me with Joshua's story.  He was a man totally surrendered to doing what God wanted.  He knew the character of God and what God wanted and so he believed and prayed accordingly for God to move here on the earth. I love what Steven says about this...
   
The posture of surrender will result in radical steps of faith and a confidence that flows from a heart that's fully devoted to God's plans.  The key is getting a clear and correct view of God, believing that God is actually who He says He is.  And that He can do what He says He can do.  I could write story after story about men and women who asked God for the impossible.  I could cite endless examples of people who dared to believe they were created and saved to do more than settle for the lowest common denominator of faith.  Hebrews 11:33-34 says that these were people "who through faith conquered kingdoms, administered justice, and gained what was promised; who shut the mouths of lions, quenched the fury of the flames, and escaped the edge of the sword; whose weakness was turned to strength; and who became powerful in battle and routed foreign armies."


But until we have a right picture of God, this is all just a history lesson.  Without an accurate vision of God, we cut ourselves off from the very One who enables us to have audacious faith in the first place.  You see, great men and women of faith don't have some special spiritual DNA that God injected into them.  What makes them unique actually has very little to do with them.  Because when you get right down to it, they are no different from you and me: full of fear, plagued by sin, and riddled with insecurity.  What makes world-changing people unique, audacious and powerful isn't their perfection.  It's their understanding of God's perfect nature and purposes in the world.  This God is someone worth taking risks for.  This God is someone worth praying Sun Stand Still prayers to.  What these men and women of faith believe and experience firsthand about God drives them to settle for nothing less than extraordinary faith. 


Knowing God is great enables you to dream, pray and live beyond your means because you know He is able to respond.  But you must also know that He wants to respond.  Until you believe God is with you and for you, fear and hesitation will characterize your life.  While you may believe God is capable of accomplishing the impossible in and through you, you will not necessarily believe he desires to work through you. 


When Peter gets out of the boat and walks on water to Jesus...it's not until his foot hits the water that his faith is demonstrated.  It's not until he risks failure, embarrassment, and physical harm that the supernatural power of Jesus starts working on his behalf.  Audacious faith is based on who God is, what he's already done, and what he will continue to do.  He is faithful.  It is HE who will prove that He's got what it takes.  The unfailing faithfulness of God - not our capability or performance - is the ground of our journey in audacious faith. God didn't encourage Joshua according to Joshua's faith. He encouraged Joshua according to His own faithfulness and ability...


"No one will be able to stand up against you all the days of your life.  As I was with Moses, so I will be with you; I will never leave you nor forsake you. " - Joshua 1:5 

I think the bottom line is this.  If we really KNOW the character of God and believe that He's out to set all things right and make all things new...that He longs to heal the broken-hearted and bind up their wounds, to set the captives free, to bring abundant life, to heal our diseases, to give sight to blind eyes, to bring us out of darkness and deepest gloom and break away our chains, to turn our mourning into dancing...if we really KNOW this is the God we love and serve then it changes everything.  It gives us confidence to ask boldly for these things in prayer because we KNOW it is His very nature to do them. 

I don't want to sit by anymore uttering half hearted prayers of "God, if you wouldn't mind...".  I want to approach God boldly and confidently according to WHO HE IS and what He longs to do on this earth.  God is responsible for the outcome of my prayers, not me.  But, I am responsible to pray...to ask...to believe that I am asking things of God that He desires to answer! 

I think this is especially important as we consider the least of these in our prayers.  Is God a God of death?  NO. He came to abolish death.  Is He a God of disease?  NO. We see Jesus healing every person that came to Him in the New Testament.  Is He a God of hunger?  NO.  He fed the people who were hungry.  Is God a God of slavery?  NO.  He came to set the captives free. 

Again, the magnitude of these issues in our world today can make the boldest person of prayer shy away from asking that they be demolished.  What is God really going to do for the 27 million slaves in the world?  How is God going to address the 160 million orphans in the world?  What is God really going to do for those who are starving?  We know that there will always be darkness until Jesus comes to set things right once and for all, but that does not mean we are to sit idly by twiddling our thumbs waiting for Him to come back. We are to be people of fervent, bold prayer and of equally bold action, who believe that God desires we ask audacious things of Him because He WANTS to answer us.  He desires to transform our world through us if we would just ask. 

If you're going to have the audacity to ask God for something, you'd better be ready to act.  Audacious prayer must be tethered to practical obedience or else it's not faith.  It's just wishful thinking and positive mental energy.  No wonder so many of our prayers aren't answered.  We pray for a miracle but fail to make a move.

God, may we be people who pray and LIVE audaciously.

Sun Stand Still (Part 1)

"The tragedy of our time is that we've taken what was meant to be ordinary and made it exceptional.  We've declared audacity off limits." - Furtick

I picked up a book at the bookstore a few months ago sort of accidentally.  I went to get another book, but they didn't have it and somehow I ended up with "Sun Stand Still" by Steven Furtick in my hand at the checkout counter. That might be one of the happiest accidents of my life.

I'm sure many of you are familiar with the story tucked away in Joshua 10.  For those of you who aren't or are a little rusty like I was, here's the gist as Steven writes it:

"From every angle this story showcases the kind of audacity we're after.  And it all hinges on a preposterous prayer.  As the chapter opens, we read that five opposing Amorite armies were planning to attack. Having decided to strike first, Joshua led his entire army toward the Amorites on an all-night march.  Sometime during that march, God spoke to Joshua.  He told him 'Do not be afraid of them; I have given them into your hand.  Not one of them will be able to withstand you.'

At dawn, the Israelites unleashed a surprise attack, and right from the beginning the battle went well.  When the enemy lines broke, and the Amorites started to flee into the valley, Joshua's men chased them down.  And God got personally involved.  'As they fled before Israel,' the account reads, 'the Lord hurled large hailstones down on them from the sky.'  Then, as the sun sank toward the horizon, Joshua faced a decision.  The victory wasn't complete, and once it got dark, the rest of the Amorites would slip away.  But Joshua was determined to fight on.  Perhaps he realized that if he didn't destroy the enemy now, Israel's conquest of Canaan would grind to a halt.  Maybe he knew that anything less than total victory would conceal God's presence and glory.  Besides, he remembered God's promise in the night.  

Most of us would have called it a day.  I've done all I can do.  I've exhausted every option.  I've given it all I've got.  But Joshua wasn't most people.  He refused to go out like that. That wasn't the way it was supposed to end.  This was where his audacious faith began.  Joshua sized up the situation, summoned all his available courage, and delivered one of the most gloriously unorthodox prayers in the entire Bible:

" O sun, stand still over Gibeon, O moon, over the Valley of Aijalon." (verse 12)

Joshua had the audacity to ask God to make the sun stop in the sky.  To freeze time on behalf of His people.  According to scripture, God gave Joshua exactly what he ordered.  Just when the Amorites were hanging on for the cover of darkness, darkness never came.  Just when they thought the curtains were about to drop on their day from hell, God came out for an encore.  

"The sun stopped in the middle of the sky and delayed going down about a full day.  There has never been a day like before or since...surely the Lord was fighting for Israel!" (verses 13-14)

The skeptic in me has all kinds of questions: Did God actually stop the earth on its axis?  I don't know the answer to how He did it.  I choose to believe that the same God who intervened to bring his Son back to life intervened on this day in history to help His people.  He chose to answer Joshua's outrageous prayer.  Maybe instead of trying to figure out the technical answers, we should be asking a more relevant question: could it be that God intends for us to have the same kind of audacious faith - the kind of faith that dares to believe God for the impossible - as a normal way of life??"

I love that last question. It gets to the heart of the matter for me. Throughout scripture I don't see people of God praying wimpy "Dear God, if you could, please would you...". I see them praying prayers where seas parted, the sick were healed, the dead were raised, teenagers took out giants with pebbles. What I see in scripture is that these so called "radical, audacious" prayers were not the exception, they were the norm. Every time someone prayed something bold, crazy things happened!  God answered.

As I look at the way that I pray and live out my faith I must ask myself "What have I reduced God to and more importantly, why??" These things have been stirring in my heart for a few months now and I want to take the time to process them here.  But to prevent this from becoming the world's longest blog post I'm going to break it up into a few. :)

As we look at the broken world around us, the magnitude of the problems and issues can seem huge and impenetrable.  But here's the deal.  God didn't just put us here to survive...He put us here to transform the world around us.  And that transformation occurs as we come to trust and believe in the very nature of who God is,which then compels us to walk in deeper faith, praying audacious prayers and EXPECTING God to show up and do what He says He will do, just as He did for Joshua.  Joshua was nothing special. He just knew who God was and prayed accordingly.

Are we even praying boldy and audaciously?  Do we expect that if we pray and believe for the audacious that God will answer? What keeps us from praying the types of prayers that Joshua and many others like him prayed?   Are we afraid He won't come through? Do we fear looking stupid?

More to come...

The Urgency of Now

“We are not faced with the fact, my friends, that tomorrow is today. We are confronted with the fierce urgency of now. In this unfolding conundrum of life and history, there is such a thing as being too late. Procrastination is still the thief of time. Life often leaves us standing bare, naked, and dejected with a lost opportunity. The tide in the affairs of men does not remain at flood-it ebbs. We may cry out desperately for time to pause in her passage, but time is adamant to every plea and rushes on. Over the bleached bones and jumbled residues of numerous civilizations are written the pathetic words, ‘too late.’”


-Martin Luther King, Jr.


Time is a funny thing.  I can feel like it's crawling by like it did while we were in the adoption process or during my engagement. Other days it races by and there aren't enough minutes in the day.  When I think about my life I can often feel like I have forever ahead of me while other days I feel confronted with the reality that life is oh, so short....that the clock is ticking faster and faster. 

I think many of us spend much of our time planning for and looking to the future...a job change, a vacation, a change of lifestyle, retirement etc.  We tell ourselves that someday our lives will be different.  Someday we'll do that thing that seems so out of reach right now.  Someday, we'll be in a better place to spend our time and money in more meaningful ways.  You know, once we're out of debt and the kids are out of school and we're out from under work and extracurricular obligations and...and...and. 

Too many people's "somedays" never come.  There really IS such a thing as being too late.  As King says "Over the bleached bones and jumbled residues of numerous civilizations are written the pathetic words, ‘too late.’”  We can get to the end of our lives and regret all the ways we meant to help.  Time slipped by...in the busyness of daily life we just...well, we were too busy.  We were too self consumed to really bother with others who didn't fit our schedules, our comfort zones, our molds.  Really, we were going to do something...

The trafficked 9 year old child who was raped for the 20th time today screams that NOW is what counts.  The family running for their lives from ethnic cleansing in their country knows tomorrow could be too late.  The mother who has AIDS and is nursing her little baby with diseased milk rather than allowing it to starve knows the urgency of today. The orphan who will age out of the orphanage in a week with no hope of ever having a family knows that time is short. The HIV+ patients who have free medication but can't afford the basic food that's required to be eaten with their medication know the urgency of today.  The teenager in Russia with her head being held to a log with an axe forcing her to service man after man knows the urgency of now.

We can tend to think of getting to the grocery store, making it to practice on time, climbing the corporate ladder or paying our bills on time as urgent.  Here is what I honestly believe - we wouldn't know urgent if it slapped us in the face.  It would do us worlds of good to walk a mile in someone else's shoes and have our perception of urgent re-shaped.    

I do not want to get to the end of my life (which could be an hour from now for all I know) having ignored the people who have lived every moment in a state of emergency.  I do not want to stand before my God and look Him in the eye and tell Him that I really meant to do something... that my heart went out to those people.  For whoever it is that I am meant to help during my time on this earth, I do not want to be too late.  

There IS an urgency of now.  Now is ALL any of us have.  We are not guaranteed our next breath.  Now is a gift that we have been given that was never meant to be squandered.  What are we doing with it?    

Here Am I

I got to spend a few days last week at the Christian Alliance for Orphans Summit in Louisville.  Almost 2,000 people in one place with hearts to live out the calling of James 1:27 to care for the orphan in their distress.  I had the privilege of listening to story after story of how people's lives had been wrecked, changed and influenced by choosing to take a step of faith. 

It's funny how I didn't hear many stories of how people had been caring for orphans all their lives, but rather they had been going through their days pursuing what they thought was a full life and God got ahold of them and radically redirected their paths.  That sounds a little familiar to me. :)

I heard stories of people adopting HIV+ children from Ethiopia in the midst of great criticism.  Carolyn Twietmeyer shared how she went to Ethiopia because the daughter she was in process of adopting was very ill and literally on the brink of death.  This little girl desperately needed a blood transfusion but in Ethiopia they don't give out "good blood" to people with HIV because they don't want to waste it on people who are dying.  Turns out this adoptive mom was a match for her little girl.  While she was there nursing her little girl back to health, she found out that her soon to be daughter had two other siblings living on their own in Ethiopia.  Long story short, all three siblings are now adopted and living together here in the States. Check out what this amazing family is doing to fight the stigma of HIV+ children HERE. 

I heard stories of churches in cities across America banding together to take in every single child in their local foster care system.  Their goal is that when a child enters the foster care system that the first call that is placed is to a local church with an active group of foster families who are ready to take in children.  It's so encouraging to see the Church rising up to do what we have been called to do.  Is it scary?  Yes.  Does it require sacrifice? Absolutely.  But, what is life really if not the laying down of our own lives for others?

I heard a pro football player share about how God moved in his heart and he and his wife have now adopted around 8-10 kids...I think they have 4 biological as well.  He is using his influence with his teammates to create adoption funds for families who cannot afford to adopt. 

There was so much love represented in that room of people.  So much sacrifice.  So much joy.  So much passion.  This is the beauty of what happens when God transforms our hearts to beat as His does.  The cost doesn't seem steep anymore...sacrifice becomes the very thing we chase after because it draws us close to the heart of God.  As we watch these precious little lives being transformed before our eyes, we are reminded that God has done that very thing for us. 

Psalm 40:1-3 says: "I waited patiently for the LORD; He turned to me and heard my cry. He lifted me out of the slimy pit, out of the mud and mire; He set my feet on a rock and gave me a firm place to stand. He put a new song in my mouth, a hymn of praise to our God."

There are around 150 million or so orphans in the world today stuck in the slimy pit of abandonment, abuse, disease, loneliness and worthlessness. Their hearts are broken.  Many feel hopeless. And God's answer for them is you.  It's me.  It's people willing to break out of their comfort, their financial security, their routine, their safety, and engage with the children who are crying out to be seen. 

"Then I heard the voice of the Lord saying, “Whom shall I send? And who will go for us?” And I said, “Here am I. Send me!” - Isaiah 6:8

I am so often guilty of not uttering those words - "Send Me!".  I sit back because it seems others are doing the work and meeting the needs.  But God knows that us saying "Send Me" is just as much about what He wants and needs to do in our own lives as it is about how He wants to use us in the lives of His little ones who are broken and hurting.  "Send Me" should be the cry of my heart because it will lead me into deeper knowledge of who God is and fullness of life.

I pray for a release from selfishness, fear and comfort for us.  I pray that we will start asking God what He wants us to do for His children who have been discarded like trash, who are suffering because of circumstances out of their control.  As we say "Here am I.  Send me!" may our confidence rest in the God who heals the broken-hearted and binds up their wounds.

Grateful

So thankful today that God allows me to be mama to my three sweeties...

They are precious gifts to me that I do not deserve.  It is a privilege to nurture and help shape their little lives. 

And I'm so thankful for my own sweet mom who has always modeled what selflessness and love look like...

I also can't think about Mother's Day without thinking of Tariku's birth mom, Bogalech.  She loved her son so much.  In a culture where women who gave birth out of wedlock were shunned, she acted bravely.  She didn't leave her son in the woods or abandon him on the side of the road like many in her situation have done.  She nursed Tariku for three months and then took him to his birth father so that he could have a better chance at survival.  She knew she could not care and provide for him.  I have no idea where she is today.  I have never met her and simply know a skeleton of her story.  I can only imagine what she must feel as a mother who is separated from her child.  Her sacrifice has been our gain and there are days I don't know how to feel about that.  I have so much sorrow for the impossible choices she had to make...and so much admiration for the bravery it took to make them. 

I just have no idea what she must have felt as she handed Tariku over to his birth father... what she must feel wherever she is today.  I just know that she has given us the most precious little boy on the face of the planet.  And I can't thank her enough for that. 

Bogalech, Happy Mother's Day.  You have a beautiful boy with a generous, kind spirit and the brave heart of a warrior.  I know he must have gotten some of those traits from you.  There are no words to properly thank you for what you have given our family.  I know the cost must have been so great to you and I pray that your heart heals as time passes.  Your son is happy, healthy and beautiful.  I hope somehow you can sense that.  I love you and I thank you from the depths of my being. 

Happy Mother's Day to ALL the moms in the world...may you be blessed today!

Without Seeing

I love Easter.  It means new life for those of us who believe that Jesus, the Son of God went willingly to the cross to make a way for us to experience life abundantly.  No longer stuck.  No longer shackled.  Free to live in fullness.  Yes, I celebrate this in my own life today.  Somehow, in all my frailty and failings I move His heart.  You and I move the very heart of God.  So much so, that He sent his son to this earth - to shatter our darkness and bring us joy and life.  Is that unbelievable or what??!!

John 10:10 sums up what Jesus came to this world for beautifully.  He says:

"The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I came that they may have life, and have it abundantly."

Jesus rescued us.  And He didn't just die on the cross so that we could go to heaven.  He rescued and paid the price for us so that we can live ABUNDANTLY now.  Today.  This very moment. 

Many of us might just be trying to get through the day.  Life can be hard, there's no doubt about it.  It can feel exhausting and most days we have more questions than answers.  The circumstances of life can lead us to doubt God's intentions toward us.  But they are clear from scripture - He came to give us abundant life.  Abundant means "present in great quantity; more than adequate; oversufficient: well supplied; abounding: richly supplied".  He has made a way for us to live our lives richly supplied - despite our circumstances. 

Remember Thomas in the Bible? Doubting Thomas.  He had been convinced that Jesus was the Messiah - the One that was going to right all the wrongs.  Yet, as Jesus hung on a cross and died a bloody, gruesome death, I imagine his hope drained as Jesus' blood flowed out from His body, and as He took His last breath. 

It's no wonder that when Thomas' friends told him that Jesus was no longer dead and that He had risen from the grave, that Thomas didn't believe them.  Along with the death of Jesus had come the death of his hopes and dreams.  He told his friends "Unless I see the nail marks in his hands and put my finger where the nails were, and put my hand into his side, I will not believe it."  A week later Thomas and his friends are hanging out behind locked doors and suddenly Jesus appears out of nowhere. 

Thomas doesn't believe it's Jesus, but then Jesus says to him "Put your finger here; see my hands. Reach out your hand and put it into my side. Stop doubting and believe.” Thomas said to him, “My Lord and my God!”
Then Jesus told him, “Because you have seen me, you have believed; blessed are those who have not seen and yet have believed.”

Ouch.  Don't I want to see?  Don't I want to see with my eyes answers to my prayers?  Don't I want some sort of proof that God is worth it? That He's real and that He's good? I want to see, but Jesus is saying that those who believe without seeing are blessed.

It makes me think about my friend, Elizabeth back in Uganda.  She is around 17 years old and her mother died of AIDS while she was young and so she grew up with an alcoholic father who abused her.  Then the Lord's Resistance Army invaded her village and she was forced to flee from her home.  She and her sister did their best to survive and get by on their own.  She ended up at a school where she lives now, trying to get an education so she has some sort of hope for a future.  Everything in her life has been difficult and unstable.  But look at her.

Those eyes have seen so much in her young life.  Yet she smiles, and believe me, it's not forced.  She smiled almost the whole time I was with her.  You would think someone with her life experiences would be embittered, angry and doubtful of God's intentions towards her.  But, she's not.  She believes without seeing.  I asked her what she wanted more than anything and she responded "to serve the Lord".  She loves God so passionately it just radiates from her.  People would look at her life and hear her story and say that she has no reason to believe in God...there are few external circumstances in her life that point towards a God who loves and cares for her. 

But she knows it.  She believes it deeply.  She believes without seeing.  She believes without doubting, unlike Thomas.  And there's something about her countenance, about her words, about the fervor with which she speaks.  She is living in the blessing Jesus promised those who have not yet seen but believed.

“Because you have seen me, you have believed; blessed are those who have not seen and yet have believed.”

I think that like Thomas, Jesus knows that sometimes we need to see Him.  That we need evidence of His presence and movement in our lives.  But, man, I want a heart like Elizabeth's.  I want to be able to know and trust God's love for me in the middle of circumstances that make no sense.  I want the blessing of believing without doubting.

May this Easter be one of choosing to believe even when we don't see.  May we trust in the love that compelled the God of the universe to send His son to earth to die so that we might live richly supplied, abundant lives through our faith in Him.

Remember this: He has been better to you and me than we deserve. We're forgiven and redeemed by the power of God. And even if He never does anything else for us, His single act of love on the cross demonstrated His goodness for all time. - Steven Furtick

Our World is Transformed - Tariku's Gotcha Day

"The moment you have in your heart this extraordinary thing called love and feel the depth, the delight, the ecstasy of it, you will discover that for you the world is transformed."


I honestly don't know how to even write this post.  I have so much emotion today that if you were reading this on a piece of paper the letters would be smeared with my tears.  Words just don't seem adequate.  Any time you bring a child into your family it is a beautiful moment, and that's no less true when you expand your family by adoption.  On April 9, 2010 we weren't thinking about paperwork getting approved, court dates or travel arrangements to Ethiopia.  We weren't waiting anymore.  Our son wasn't waiting anymore.  We were living the moment we'd been dreaming of for two years.  We were laying tear-filled eyes on Tariku for the first time in person.  Bliss!

I remember kneeling down on the classroom floor and him walking into my arms for the first time.  I thought my heart would explode.  This precious little boy who had been mistreated and severely malnourished was throwing his arms around my neck and kissing me on the lips.  And his smile...oh his smile!   He was perfection.  He longed to be loved, and oh my gosh...how we loved him immediately!  All I could think of was that everything was going to be okay.  We were going to wrap our arms and hearts around him and he was going to experience love like he had never known.  We were going to love him so fiercely that his tender, wounded, little heart was going to heal.  Perhaps what I never saw coming was how much he was going to heal me.

I can't tell you how many times people have told us what a good thing we did when we adopted Tariku...how we rescued and saved him.  I know they are well meaning, but it always makes me cringe.  We didn't do some extraordinarily good thing - we just did what God put it on our hearts to do.   And as for the saving and rescuing...we didn't rescue him.  God saw a little boy in a desperate, lonely situation and chose to put us together as a family.  For those who still would say we rescued him, I would say that he rescued us right back.  

I would say that he has brought a fullness of life to us that we never could have envisioned.  He rescued us from ourselves.  He rescued us from self-centeredness, from fear, from lives we likely would have lived with blinders on.  He has shown us what courage and hope look like.  He has helped us to see what our life's purpose is.  He has shown us again what God does with brokenness and pain - how He rebuilds and restores. How nothing is wasted.  He is a living, breathing masterpiece...a testimony to the faithfulness of God. There is no doubt that as much of an impact as we have had on his life, he has by far impacted and blessed us more.  There's just no two ways about it.  I guess that's how things work in God's economy. How humbling and awesome.  God knew we needed this precious little boy, just as much as he needed us.

And today we celebrate him. We celebrate the moment we became a family.  We celebrate the unbelievable little guy that he is.  But most of all, we celebrate the amazing God that we know and love....the God who took us on a journey halfway around the world to glue all of our broken pieces back together and to unlock in us something deeply profound and beautiful.  We are so incredibly grateful.

Hope you enjoy this sweet video about our journey to Tariku...many thanks to our dear friend, Dan Smoker, for the time, love and energy he put into making it for us.  

Getting My Feet Dirty

I don't know if you can relate, but isn't it really easy to just talk or write about things without ever really experiencing them?  I think we do that a lot in our culture, and especially as the Church.  Talk, talk, talk with maybe a dash of action thrown in here and there.  How sad.  I'm guilty of it.  That's why today was so good for me.  I actually got my feet dirty. Literally.

It was "One Day Without Shoes" day today.  An opportunity to engage us in actually experiencing a fraction of what millions of people do every day - walking barefoot everywhere.  In my travels in Africa I have seen a lot firsthand, but I realized today that I haven't actually walked in their shoes (or lack thereof).  I find myself really surprised by how I felt today going barefoot everywhere.  I was so aware of the fact that I was uncomfortable.  But, the biggest source of my discomfort really came from the realization of just how hard it must be to go through even just one day in life without shoes for so many in other countries.  And the ground I walked on today couldn't have held a candle to the treacherous conditions people walk on daily.

I rolled out of bed onto my soft carpet, walked out into my garage on the smooth, cold concrete, got in my car to the welcome of soft carpet again on my feet, walked to the mailbox on the mildy annoying textured concrete sidewalk, then back into my house onto the smooth, hard wood floors.

The worst I experienced all day was my friend's gravel driveway.  Ouch.  You should have seen me babying myself with each step on the little rocks.  You would have thought I had a sprained ankle by the way I was walking on the gravel.  But, it was a reality jolt for me.  My mind immediately went back to the Rock Quarry in Uganda where I saw people navigating jagged rocks barefoot, many of them with bleeding feet.  And I was instantly thankful for the opportunity to in some small way identify with the people I had met that day in Uganda.

And then my son, Tariku.  He had never known a pair of shoes on his feet in his four and a half years of life until he got to the orphanage. He'd been barefoot since the day his toes touched the ground in Ethiopia. I asked him about it tonight and he vividly described the first pair of shoes he received at the orphanage - a pair of rubber crocs. Let me tell you...having that pair of shoes was a big deal to him.

Going barefoot today made it more real for me.  Such a small, simple thing to not wear shoes for a day.  My friend Layla didn't have a reason to leave her house today with her kids but they talked about the kids in the world who can't go to school because they have no shoes and the people whose toes and feet are eaten away by infection because they don't have any foot protection.  Then they all walked down their long, gravel driveway barefoot to get the mail.  Just that one simple exercise left a big mark on her kids.  I love that.

It's just so easy to settle in and stay comfortable with the way our lives are here in America. It was so good for me to have a little bit of a reality jolt today.  If you haven't noticed, I tend to talk a lot about poverty and it's impact here on my blog.  I can so easily tire of all the talk, as I'm sure can you, not to mention God.  It felt right today to actually do something to help make the connection between my words and my heart...to shake myself out of my frequently self-centered rut.

There is something special about identifying with someone else...in acknowledging their reality. Isn't that what we celebrate this month? God sending His son to identify with us?  God put skin on so that He could feel what we feel and experience our pain and suffering. He is the ultimate example of what it looks like to walk in someone's shoes, or lack thereof. And I'm pretty sure He modeled that because He knew that identifying with one another is where we come alive and fully into who He made us to be.

All that from just one day without shoes. Go figure. Wonder what would happen if I REALLY took a risk identifying with others...

"The way of Jesus is about our descent. Its about our death. It’s our willingness to join the world in its suffering, it’s our participation in the new humanity, it’s our weakness calling out to others in their weakness.”- Rob Bell
   

One Day Without Shoes

Okay...so what's the weather like where you are?  Is it gonna be hot, cold, rainy, snowy, muddy where you live tomorrow?  Imagine the conversation at the office or school or the grocery when you join me and thousands of others and show up barefoot tomorrow.  Wait.  Why are we going barefoot tomorrow??????? 
MILLIONS of people in the world go barefoot every day and in an effort to raise awareness of that fact, April 5th is the day we go ONE DAY WITHOUT SHOES.  Just one.

Did you know...

Many children in developing countries grow up barefoot. Whether at play, doing chores or going to school, these children are at risk:


•A leading cause of disease in developing countries is soil-transmitted diseases, which can penetrate the skin through bare feet. Wearing shoes can help prevent these diseases, and the long-term physical and cognitive harm they cause.

•Wearing shoes also prevents feet from getting cuts and sores. Not only are these injuries painful, they also are dangerous when wounds become infected.

•Many times children can't attend school barefoot because shoes are a required part of their uniform. If they don't have shoes, they don't go to school. If they don't receive an education, they don't have the opportunity to realize their potential.

When we were in Uganda, we met people whose feet were literally oozing from sores and infection due to the fact they walked barefoot day in and day out.  There are bugs called jiggers that burrow into the skin and cause infection.  Many of the kids we saw in uganda were walking around with feet that looked like this:

Walking in the wrong places without shoes can cause serious health problems which can lead to paralysis.  Can you imagine having to live your life paralyzed simply because you didn't have shoes to wear?? Here in the U.S. we are likely hard pressed to ever think about the fact that people all over the world suffer because they lack one thing that our closets are bursting with - shoes.  All it takes is one pair to do the job. 

Tom's Shoes is a great organization that gives one pair of shoes to someone in need when you purchase one pair.  That's great math.  Get a pair.  Give a pair.  Check them out for an easy way to help put a dent in this crisis. 

Talk to your family and friends about this and consider going without shoes tomorrow.  What a great way to help people learn that there are millions going barefoot every day who have no other choice.  Sometimes, we don't know how good we have it.  So, as you walk on the smooth pavement, on the carpet in your house or on the grass tomorrow barefoot, be thankful.  There are millons of folks walking on hot roads with sharp rocks, glass and metal who don't have the luxury of knowing a day WITH shoes is coming.  But with your help it can. 

Get one.  Give one.  There's no time like the present.  www.toms.com

Together

My house is full right now.  Our good friends from Cincinnati are visiting on their spring break and sleeping in Tariku's room, while Tariku is sleeping on my bedroom floor (I had to remove him from my bed due to his excessive snoring and his inclination to make snow angels in his sleep which leads to a very rude awakening in the middle of the night for this mama...but, I digress...), our friend's daughter is sleeping in my girl's room with my two, their two boys are sleeping on an air matress in the play room, and then two more of our friends from Cincinnati came as well and are sleeping in the guest room.  Packed house.  And you know what? I LOVE it!!

We all cooked together, ran to the store for and with each other, walked to get the kids at school together, sat and watched them play together, hiked together, watched Africa videos together, prayed together, laughed together, tried to light a grill together, shared meals together, and even sat on the couch and looked at our iPhones together. :)  And this whole week I've been thinking about what a blessing "together" is.  That "together" is what we are made for.  We are made for community, to "do" life with each other.  Moments spent together are richer and more meaningful.  They are just so GOOD!

I am unbelievabley grateful for my "together".

And this all on the heels of a meeting I sat in on today where we talked about the number of kids who are aging out of the foster care system here in the U.S. with nowhere to go and no hope for their future.  1 in 4 are incarcerated.  They are three times as likely to commit suicide.  They are more prone to trafficking and prostitution.  They are more likely to be homeless.  We talked about young mothers who are pregnant and alone with nowhere to go...the hopelessness they must feel...the loneliness.

Where is their community?  Will they ever know the meaning of "together"? Who is going to cook and laugh alongside them? How are they to get through life without strong relationships?

I have to admit, I spend the majority of my time thinking about what is going on in Africa, a land full of people I dearly love and feel that God has carved a very special place in my heart for. But I feel like God expanded my heart today.  He peeled back another layer and allowed me to see what is right in front of me to do.

There are people all around me who have no community and know no love.  What does it cost me to reach out and mentor a kid who's aging out of the system?  Not much.  What does it look like to befriend a scared, young woman who's going to give birth soon?  How much of my time would it really take to help them know the meaning of "together"?  Not much.

I am excited about what's on the horizon...you'll be hearing more as things unfold.  But the point for now that God is whispering to my heart is that "together" is a gift He's given us that we in turn are to give to each other. We are meant to live in community and in relationship with one another.  ALL of us. No one should miss out on the awesomeness of "together".

Transformative Dignity

Today is World Water Day.  Many of you may know that the issue of clean water is important to me because my son, Tariku, who we adopted from Ethiopia, drank from a dirty water source that would likely have taken his life had he not received good medical care here upon his arrival in the U.S.  His stomach was full of parasites and he had diarrhea most of his life because of his contaminated water source.  You can read more of Tariku's story here if you like.  But today you and I have the opportunity to focus our attention, efforts and resources on India.  My good friend Jody and The Adventure Project are teaming up with Water Aid to make a difference today in India.

Did you know that 1/3 of all drinking wells built in the last 20 years are broken? Instead of drilling more wells, The Adventure Project is using the charitable gifts they receive for something revolutionary – to train and employ hand pump mechanics. The mechanics earn an income, bringing themselves out of poverty, and they save lives – turning water back on for thousands of people each year.  Smart, huh?  I think so! 

I'd like for you to take a minute to meet this extraordinary woman, Ram Rati.

 
Becky Straw, co-founder of The Adventure Project shares her experience of getting to know Ram Rati...
 

I met Ram Rati in her village on a cool morning at the crack of dawn. I was instantly energized by her quick wit and smirk of brazen defiance. While other women stood demurely off to our side, faces covered and trying not to interfere, Ram Rati walked around like she was mayor, rattling off stories and beaming with pride.




This culturally conservative region in Northern India generally frowns upon women speaking in public, going outside without a veil or sending girls to school. So, to see a woman like Ram Rati, a spitfire barely five feet tall, riding her bike gallantly into their village is a shock to most people. And then she opens her toolbox and fixes their well.


Ram Rati applied to be a mechanic because she grew tired of all the broken wells in her village. Each broken well meant a farther walk, a longer line and hours spent searching for clean water. In her district, and throughout Africa, one-third of all wells drilled in the last twenty years are now broken. She decided to do something about it. She applied to become one of the first female handpump mechanics.


Strong, hardworking and not afraid to speak up, Ram Rati’s life has been full of courageous action. Forced into a child marriage at the age of eleven, she boldly escaped at thirteen, convincing her brothers to take her in. She spent the next fifteen years grinding wheat and helping raise their children.


When WaterAid showed up in her village, Ram Rati began to see hope. She was taught how to fix wells and prevent them from breaking. She learned how to ride a bike with a skirt on and her toolbox strapped to the back. She removed her veil and found her voice.


But there were some doubters. “At first I thought, how can she do?” one of the men told me. “But she got trained and learned, and now she can do it very nicely. Even a man can’t do the job as well as she does.”


Ram Rati’s friend Sheila, who is also a mechanic, added. “When I first learned to cycle people were laughing, saying, ‘Today you are learning to cycle, will you be driving a plane tomorrow?’”
“What do people say now?” I asked.


Ram Rati chuckled, “Now they say, handpump mechanic, please come. We are waiting for repairs, please come!”
……….


That afternoon I sat in the dirt alongside a group of women, watching Ram Rati and her colleagues fix another well. I was blown away by how strong they were. How they jumped in and grabbed the heaviest tools. They knew just what to do, and how to fix it. I scanned the crowd and noticed three school-age girls also watching. Mouths open, standing in awe. They were mesmerized. I recalled what Ram Rati told me earlier in the day, when she grabbed my arm and pointed at those same three girls. With conviction she said, “I want these girls to be more than us.”


On that day, in the middle of a small village, I think I observed the birth of a revolution. For the female mechanics, this is their Women’s Rights Movement.


……..


I left India convinced that creating opportunities for women to succeed can alleviate poverty and save lives. Already, Ram Rati and her team have fixed 304 wells, turning clean water back on for over 30,000 people. But it’s more than the weight of water that’s transformative. It’s the dignity.


In looking through my travel photos from India, Haiti and throughout Africa, I realize there are millions of powerful women who are unable to speak. Because they are silently standing behind veils, or are too busy walking for water.


I’ve decided that I must use my voice, to help other women find theirs.

You and I have the privilege and opportunity to act today on behalf of the people in India who are sitting in their villages with broken wells that if fixed, would be giving them clean water today.  While Ram Rati and her team have fixed 304 wells already, there are still another 4,000 in the region that need fixed. I am looking for just ten of the people who read this blog post today to go HERE and donate just $20 to this important work.  I am a part of a network of bloggers who are hoping to collectively raise $10,000 TODAY, which will be matched by Prem Rawat Foundation.  That's $20,000 in just one day.  It's audacious.  It's big.  And it's possible.  If we raise $10,000, we will help mechanics fix hundreds of wells for years to come, turning water back on for 300 people each month.  Through the generosity of Prem Rawat Foundation, that money is doubled, and well, you can do the math. More jobs created, more people served and more healthy futures for thousands of people in India.

Just $20.  Just a small sacrifice.  Just a huge difference.   Thank you, friends.

UPDATE: In just one day, $11,500 was raised for this project, for a total of $21,500 when you add in the match!!  Wow.  It's incredible to realize that our voices individually AND collectively can make a tangible difference!  Thanks to everyone who joined in!

Out From Under The Umbrella

I’ve been reading and talking about vulnerability a lot lately. It doesn’t seem at first glance that vulnerability would be related to orphan care or poverty and justice issues. But, after listening to Tom Davis’ talk at Idea Camp this month on this topic, I’m starting to understand the strong connection between vulnerability and our love and care for the marginalized.

Unfortunately, vulnerability is usually associated with weakness, fear and shame. But as Tom says, vulnerability also (and more importantly) encompasses how we feel joy, belonging and connectedness. Vulnerability to me means stepping out from under the umbrella of safety and putting myself and my heart out there, come what may. Sometimes, it hurts like crazy, but it almost always leads to joy.

If you’ve been around my blog (or my life!), you know that I have adopted my son from Ethiopia and while there, was WRECKED by a leper colony called Korah. 75,000 people living in a kind of poverty and pain I hadn’t really known existed. My friend, Melanie described her experience in Korah this week so well...

We followed Yemamu and Sisay into the dump. My first thought was that it looked like a post-apocalyptic world, like a movie set for the next big summer blockbuster. But it was real. We stepped through broken glass and plastic bags, large bones of animals, dirty diapers, bottles, cans, batteries leaking acid, rotting food. Layers and layers. Someone had dug a deep hole looking for metal to scavange and the layers of trash went as far as I could see, down down down, smoke pouring through the fissures in the strata.



And there were people. Hundreds of them. People like Busana, who received treatment at e hospital and now lives in Korah, foraging for metals in the dump that she can sell, her 1 1/2-year-old child on her back and her husband nearby searching in the dump.

As we were walking, the smoke filled our lungs, and the smell of rotting diapers, food, and animals filled my nose and lungs. I dry heaved over and over and prayed for the strength to keep walking, to keep asking questions, to keep shaking hands and hearing stories. We saw homes made of plastic tarp where 25 men squeeze in at night to sleep as the hyenas prowl outside. We saw litters of puppies, dogs with matted fur, pigs, and goats. One man was roasting a pig and it looked like he was using the smoke from the dump itself to cook it. A group of young men found a carryout container of raw chicken wings and said, “Let’s eat!” They huddled around it and everyone dug in hungrily. Yemamu showed us what people eat – coffee creamer packets discarded from Ethiopian Airlines, packets of cooking oil, leftover water in plastic bottles. He explained that many people die by drinking the wrong thing or eating something bad. The food at the dump could come from a restaurant…or it could come from the hospital and be mixed with infected blood. The water could be clean water, or it could be chemicals. They take that chance every time they eat. Their clothes come from the dump, and they could be clothes from a patient who died at the hospital, covered in blood.


Each day is a battle to stay alive, and the resilience of the human spirit is remarkable in this place. The older boys take care of the younger ones who have been orphaned. We saw women collecting plastic bags to turn in for money. Garbage trucks came in and out, pouring more and more refuse onto the smoking heap. Hundreds of people gathered around the new piles in search of food and metals. The smoke was so thick that we couldn’t see very far in front of us.

All I can say is walking through Korah (or anywhere where people is suffer) is choosing to be vulnerable. It is intentionally allowing your heart to be ripped out of your chest. Meeting the suffering face to face in all their beauty will take your breath away (as will the stench of the garbage dump they live on). Seeing a family of 12 living in 10x10 room of filth will jolt you. Watching women with leprosy whose fingers are gone trying to eek out a living by embroidering will fill your eyes with tears. Walking away from that place to go back to your comfy bed will cause you to question everything you know.

Opening my heart up to people who suffer has been for me, the ultimate form of vulnerability. It messes with me. It doesn’t allow me to ever be the same again. It is a choice that I either make or I don’t.  I either expose myself to things that hurt and in doing so, become fully alive or I put my walls up and stay safely hidden. 

I have to say, this week has been one of those weeks where I just wish I didn’t know. I wish I could go back to ignorance because it has hurt SO badly these past few days. Since I actually know some of these people and their stories, they are ever on my mind. When I open my fridge to get food, I think about the food they scavenge from the dump every day. When I grab my Advil I am reminded of their open sores, their diseases. Their faces are everywhere I look. People like my friend, Yemamu, who work tirelessly to make a difference in their lives are always on my heart.

And you know what?  That is just a GIFT.  The fact I see them at all and care about them is a gift to me from God.  I cried every day this week, real, wracking sobs over people I have only visited once.  I cried because I was frustrated and angry at God for allowing me to see them in their pain and then for sending me back to my comfortable home.  I cried because I don't know how to reconcile my life here much of the time.  Some days it feels like I will explode for wanting to be in Korah, among the people there and yet here I am on the other side of the world.  I wept over the reality these beautiful people face every day. Yet, I'm reminded that this vulnerability that threatens to tear me open some days, is the very thing that brings me the deepest joy and a sense of connectedness.  Vulnerability breeds compassion.  Putting ourselves in a place to SEE and FEEL the pain is vulnerability.  Once we SEE, we become compassionate. Compassion literally means "to suffer with".  Once we suffer with someone, we love them.  And love...well, that is what ultimately transforms us and the world. 

Jesus left heaven for the confines of earth, experiencing fully the pain and mess of this world - suffering with us.  He gave Himself up for those He loved - the ultimate vulnerability - so that we might have abundant life.  And it is as we follow His example of becoming vulnerable that we find our fullest, richest and abundant life.  My tears this week have felt painful at times, but they have ultimately helped me connect to the heart of God that pounds furiously for the hurting, the lonely, the outcast.  How beautiful and humbling. 

I'd encourage you if you have 20 minutes to watch Tom's talk on vulnerability...


IC ORPHAN - Children's HopeChest from The Idea Camp on Vimeo.